For the past three years,
I've been in somewhat of a 'Wilderness Season'.
Life was normal, or so I thought,
and I was evolving as a person.
I believe in God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit.
It took the Holy trinity and every angel in heaven,
to get me to where I am today, in one piece,
in a sound mind, and standing in a place of victory.
The long short of my life story
is that I was molested as a child.
I took every wrong road
that you could possibly take
as a young adult:
Sex, drugs, and alcohol.
The kicker for me is that I was blessed
with insane intellect that often astounds me.
Imagine, giving a child a loaded gun
or giving a teenager a Ferrari.
That's kinda how life was for me...
being scarred from childhood
with a prodigy brain.
I pretty much lost my mind around 18
and that roller coaster took me
to Haiti in 2010 on a mission trip.
Arrogant, annoying, and amicable,
I set foot in a country
that changed everything for me.
I learned how to aim that loaded gun
and control the Ferrari, so to speak.
But, by that time,
I had already shot holes everywhere
and badly damaged the Ferrari...
'What does that really mean'?
...I was in my mid-twenties
looking back on my life like I was a
terrible monster.
I entered the wilderness.
///////////////////////////////////////////////////
I'm reminded of Adam and Eve
after they ate
from the tree of good and evil.
They were able to see their nakedness
and felt ashamed.
That's kinda how I was at that point:
an ex-druggie that had just graduated
from a private university with honors,
looking around at the ruins that my life had become.
Thankfully, I had a Christian background
and extensive knowledge of the bible.
But, again,
I was a child with a loaded gun,
not really knowing how to aim and discern.
The wilderness for me was a time of -
lack,
fear,
spite,
outcry,
revelry,
sadness,
defiance,
delusion,
confusion,
hedonism,
boisterousness,
ambassadorship,
development,
streamlining,
fortification,
faithfulness,
authenticity,
reformation,
harvesting,
diplomacy,
resilience,
boldness,
purpose,
peace,
love,
and
joy
[in no particular order]
[like being in a washing machine]
... and somehow or another....
... a firm trusting in God.
How do you un-change your ways?
How do you become a better person,
when a 'slave' mentality
is all you have come to know?
//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
It took the children of Israel 40 years,
to reach the promise land.
40 years to unlearn that slave mentality,
and really put their faith in God and learn his ways.
It's said that God's thoughts
are higher than our thoughts.
To us,
we send people off to rehab to get better.
To God,
he lets us learn the err of our ways,
by letting us see how far our
wrong thinking and
wrong habits will take us
until we hit rock bottom.
...a divine ferberizing if you will...
Hebrews 5:2 says that,
God
is able
to deal gently
with those who are ignorant
and are going astray.
I was definitely 'that guy'
-ignorant and going astray.
It took being dragged through the mud,
lovingly,
to get my life back on track.
If you're going through a
"wilderness season"
right now, where,
NOTHING, makes sense,
then, just know that
there is light
at the end of the tunnel.
There's a God who loves you...
and...
...life gets better.
Hang on!
Toughen up!
Trim the fat from your life!
Drop whatever that is holding you back
from achieving progress.
Go to some of your REALLY
close friends,
and share what you're going through.
Yes, God is able to do anything.
However, His supernatural
won't combine with your natural,
(to have an expected outcome,)
until you let out whatever
you're going through to Him
or some confidants.
The wilderness is
undoubtedly unpleasant!!
But it can also be a great place
of odd reassurance, resilience, and refuge.
The full measure of God's grace
really becomes more evident
in your life.
It's awesome when you witness
your broken pieces
being re-purposed in God's hands
to become something
surprisingly unexpected that
not only heals your heart,
but, pacifies everyone around you.
Christine Caine says,
"Fruit doesn't grow
on the mountain top,
it grows in the valley".
Enjoy the crazy times.
Journal about the good
...and the bad.
When you're finally delivered,
you'll turn the page from
that chapter in your life
with joy and amazement
of the goodness of God.
++++++++++++++++++++
Forgive and Forget.
Believe and Receive.
++++++++++++++++++++
Reggie
[p.s. I'm out of that wilderness season of my life, finally, and truly thankful to God and excited about what the future has for me!]
